WHO PAYS FOR MOM
The one-page family meeting agenda
whopaysformom.com

Adapted from the Family Caregiver Alliance guide "Holding a Family Meeting"
(caregiver.org). Print it, fill in the names, send it a week ahead.

Date: ______________   Time: ______________   Place or video link: ______________

Chair (the sibling who does the LEAST care): ______________
Notes (the out-of-town sibling): ______________
Referee, if the last conversation went badly (minister, social worker, counselor, friend): ______________

Ground rules
  1. One person speaks at a time. The chair keeps the list.
  2. Nothing from before this year.
  3. The group text is for logistics only, after today.
  4. Decisions go out in writing within one day: what, who, by when.

Agenda
  1. What the doctor said. A report, read by whoever was in the room. No interpretation.
     Who was in the room: ______________
  2. What Mom needs this week. Bathing, dressing, the bathroom, stairs, cooking,
     food shopping, house cleaning, paying bills, rides to appointments, nights.
     Hours per week, counted: ______________
  3. Who is doing it now. Names and hours.
     ______________   ______________   ______________
  4. Ten minutes for feelings. Set a timer. Then move on.
  5. Who decides what. Who holds a power of attorney for health care, and who holds
     one for money. What each document says. If nobody knows, assign someone to find out.
     Health care: ______________   Money: ______________
  6. Money. What Mom's own income and savings cover each month. What is left.
     How the family splits the rest (equal, by income, Mom first then equal,
     or credit for hours). Every dollar has a receipt.
     Mom's income: ______________   Her fixed bills: ______________   Gap: ______________
  7. Who takes what. Each person leaves with at least one task and a day of the week.
     ______________   ______________   ______________
  8. Relief for the one doing the most. A weekend off is a task on the list.
     Who covers it, and when: ______________
  9. Next meeting. Same time next month.
     Date: ______________

Questions for the doctor's office (not for this table)
  ______________________________________________
  ______________________________________________
  Who will ask: ______________

Help at home is non-medical. Nothing on this page is medical or legal advice.
Questions about symptoms or medicines go to her doctor. Questions about a power of attorney go to a lawyer.