Somewhere along the way, your mother's clothes started sitting differently on her. The waistband rides up, the sleeves stop short, and the pants need a belt that was never needed before. Nobody made a decision about it. It just turned into a group text: who has the bag for the donation pile, who is buying the next pair, and whether the thing she tried on last month is coming back.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Measure her now, not the tag on the old shirt
Start with a tape, not the closet. Take her chest or bust, waist, hip, and inseam or sleeve length while she stands the way she normally stands. Write the numbers on an index card and keep it in a drawer or in your phone. The next person who shops will need it, and otherwise will guess from a shirt that fit years ago. Size labels do not match from one brand to the next, so the card is the one fact everyone can share.
Check the closet she can reach
Look at where the clothes live. A rod set higher than she can comfortably reach means she pulls things down, and the hangers come with them. If she uses a walker or a wheelchair, the bottom shelf and the lowest drawers may be out of reach entirely. Ask which clothes she takes out on an ordinary morning, then move those to a height she can use without straining. A drawer she can open with one hand is worth more than a deeper one she has to ask someone to open.
Buy for the closure, not only the size
Pull-over tops and elastic waists are the usual answer, but check the details before you order a dozen. Look for front openings or wide neck openings if getting a top over her head is hard. Check whether pants close with a zip she can manage, a hook, or a hook-and-loop tab. For shoes, check width and closure: slip-on, laces she can tie, or straps she can adjust. Shoes that are the right length but too narrow cause more trouble than shoes a half size off.
Settle who buys, who returns, and who does the wash
This is where the labor lands. One person orders, another holds the card, and someone makes the return trip when a sleeve is wrong. Decide that before the first box arrives. Find out the return window and whether returns need original tags and a receipt, since many sellers set those rules. Ask who does the laundry, because some fabrics shrink and a wrong guess means buying twice. If every replacement comes off one sibling's card, keep a written list of what was bought and when, so the cost can be split from a shared record instead of from memory.
Decide what goes and what waits
Before you bag up the old clothes, ask her which ones she still wants. She may want to keep some pieces even if they are snug, and a sibling who clears the closet without asking has started a new argument. Set aside anything that might fit again, and bag the rest for a donation drop or a second-hand shop that offers pickup. Put one person in charge of that pile so it does not sit in the hallway for months.
Ask before you go shopping
Ask whether the store has a fitting room she can use with her walker or chair, and whether a tailor nearby can handle hems and sleeves. The local help page can point you to agencies and senior centers that sometimes run clothing help, and you can compare them the same way you would compare a store. Take the measurement card along. If she can come, bring her, because the try-on is the only test that settles the fit.
Let the card set the size, the closet set the height, and one named person own the buying. That way the next replacement is a decision on paper, not another argument in the group text.