The pattern is familiar. A sibling comes in for a holiday, sees Mom in person, notices what you have been living with day to day, and makes a decision on the spot. The aide schedule changes. A new service gets ordered. Someone promises a payment with no date attached. Then the visitor drives home, and you are left running a plan that was never discussed with the rest of the family.
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Catch the change the same day
Write down every change the visitor proposed or made, as close to the moment as you can. Then send it to the family in one message: here is what was decided, here is who was involved, and please correct anything I got wrong. A short written record keeps a conversation from turning into two versions of what happened. You are not accusing anyone by writing it down. You are making sure the plan is the same plan for everyone.
Ask who runs each new item
For every new item, ask who makes the calls, who handles the paperwork, and who covers the day it breaks. If the honest answer is you, the change has not been decided yet, even if it was announced as decided. A new service that only one person can operate is a new job assigned by default, and the default is where most of the resentment starts.
Keep the old arrangement running until the change is reviewed
Do not cancel a service or move Mom to a new routine on the strength of a single visit. Agree that the old arrangement stays in place until the family has looked at the change together, at a set point you name in advance, such as the next scheduled call. Before anyone cancels something the visitor set up, read that service's written terms first. The cancellation terms are where the surprise costs usually hide.
Keep Mom out of the middle
Mom may describe the plan differently to each child, and a visitor may hear one version over coffee and act on it. Ask her what she asked for, and write her answer down in her own words. Then talk through it with the family, not with her in front of the visitor. Turning her into the referee puts her in an uncomfortable spot and makes the next conversation harder for everyone.
Fair is not the same as fast. Keep the written record, ask who carries each new item, and let the visit stay a visit.