Somebody in the family once figured out how to make the text bigger on Mom's phone, and that person got handed the phone. Now every problem with her phone, her video calls, her patient portal, and her bill websites runs through you. This guide is for the moment when you decide whether that job stays with a family member, moves to a helper you hire, or gets split between the two.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Count the tech job before you choose

Write the list down first. Most families only think of the phone itself, then discover the rest on a bad evening when a login fails. Include the phone and its settings, the contact list, the video app her grandchildren use, the patient portal login for each doctor's office, the online accounts for her bills, and wherever the passwords are kept now, whether that is a password manager, a notebook, or someone's memory. For each item, write down who can fix it today, how long the fix takes, and what happens when it breaks after dinner.

Separate setup from teaching

Setting something up and teaching her to use it are two different jobs. A family member can often set up the phone once, label the buttons, and leave a one-page sheet. Teaching her to place a video call every week is a repeat job, and it is the one that wears people down. Ask which part you can keep up. A helper who visits for a few hours can run a short check-in on the tech, but that visit should not turn into a standing help desk. Put the teaching task in the written scope, not in a group text.

Ask the questions before you hire

If you bring in a non-medical helper, ask what is in scope and what is not. Get the answers in writing:

  • Will the helper set up the devices, or only sit beside her while she uses them?
  • Will they sign in to any of her accounts? If so, whose password is it, and who changes it afterward?
  • Who receives the two-step codes sent to her phone number or email, and does that person actually have access to them?
  • Will the helper touch online bill pay at all? If they do, decide in writing who may approve a payment. Families often keep that decision with the person already handling her finances, and a lawyer can tell you what your state requires if the question is unclear.
  • What happens when the phone is lost or an account gets locked, and who is called first?
  • Who pays for a new device or a plan change, and who is told before it happens?

If you are looking for a helper in the area, the Local help page lists where to start. Ask every candidate the same questions above so you are comparing the same job.

Compare the options honestly

Family setup costs time and goodwill. The sibling who lives nearest usually ends up on the phone, and that is labor the others should see. Hired help costs money and needs a clear note of what the helper may touch. A mix often works best: one family member sets up everything and writes the sheet, a helper does a short weekly check if the budget allows, and the family keeps the passwords and the codes in one agreed place. Whatever you choose, the person who takes the midnight call should be the person who agreed to take it.

Write the one-page rule

Finish with a single page that lists each device and account, who holds each login, who receives the codes, what a helper may and may not do, and who to call first. Keep a copy with the other family records, and update it when a device changes or a helper leaves. Fair labor is visible labor. If the sheet does not exist, the tech job still belongs to whoever answers the phone, and that unpaid work is exactly what you are here to count.