Nobody decided this. It happened one call at a time. A sibling said they would look into it, and then it was your name on the form. The bill came, and you paid it so it would not go late. The pharmacy called, and you drove over because you were already out. Now the family has an arrangement, and the arrangement is you. The split did not break in a meeting. It collapsed quietly, and the first step is to notice.
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Look for the signs
The signs are concrete. You are the first call for anything urgent. You have paid for things and not been reimbursed, and you have stopped asking. You have changed a shift, a vacation or a day off to cover a task that was supposed to be shared. You are the one who would be in trouble if you stopped. And when you bring up the load, the answer is some version of I didn't know, or I'm busy, or you're better at it.
Count the last month
Open a blank page and list every task that happened for your parent in the last 30 days. Include the calls, the rides, the bills, the groceries, the appointments and the paperwork. Next to each one, write who actually did it. Then count. Do not guess. The count is not an attack on your siblings. It is a record of where the work actually went, and it is much harder to argue with than a feeling.
Separate the work from the intent
Your siblings may not be doing this on purpose. Some are working long hours. Some live far away and do not see what you see. Some assume the thing is handled because you have always handled it. You do not have to decide why the work landed on you to decide that it needs to move. Keep the conversation about the list, and let the people be the people.
Name the share you can carry
Write down the hours and the money you can give each week without breaking your job, your household or your health. Then compare that number with the list from the last month. The gap between the two is the part the family has to cover, and it should be assigned to a named person with a due date. A gap without an owner is how the arrangement stays with you.
Bring the list to the table
Send the list to your siblings before the next family conversation so they can read it without being put on the spot. Ask for one specific change: a task moved, a payment split, a day covered. Ask for a date by which it will happen. If the answer is another vague promise, put the vague promise on the list too. The record is what makes the next conversation shorter.
Know where to start
If you are not sure where to begin, the start here page explains how this site is organized and which pages are the best first read. You are not the only daughter who has found her name on the default line, and the work of moving it can start with one count and one written list.